My Fowl Mood
Never a full night’s beauty sleep in rural parts of the Philippines. The constant cock-a-doodle-dos of a thousand roosters in training make sound sleep an impossibility. Cockfighting is to the Philippines what vodka is to Russia – the ultimate pass time.
Filipino men prance through the streets with their beloved fighting-cocks in arm taking them into restaurants or stores or wherever they want “to be seen.” Like Paris Hilton’s toy chihuahua, a colorful fighting-cock has become the ultimate living accessory, a must-have accoutrement for the fashion-conscious rural Filipino man. You can learn to breed them on Cock-Fighting TV. Or, if you are lazy but want to keep up with your pals, you can just order the Cock-in-a-Box starter kit. (No, I’m not making this up.)
Even if you don’t have a problem with people sewing razor-blades onto their pet chickens so that they can face off in gladiatorial battles to the death, you will have a problem with your hotel owner raising a dozen roosters behind your room. Especially since Filipino roosters seem to start going off at 2 o’clock in the morning. This explains why Lonely Planet so frequently mentions “rooster noise” in their hotel listings. It’s a MAJOR issue here.
And don’t be surprised if your hotel owner asks you to pay your bill early; it just means he has had a bad day at the fights. Or it could mean that his latest prize-fighter is a sure-win and he needs an extra bit of dough for the weekend. (You guys probably think I’m joking, but I’m serious. We’ve had multiple hotels ask us to pay up for exactly this purpose.)
One last quick comment. You all know that I am extremely fond of double-entendres – especially in titles. I would just like to pat myself on the back for exercising serious restraint in this posting. Plus, I was also a bit afraid of what Google ads it might trigger.