Binational Couples Discover ContemporaryNomad.com
By Tony on April 3, 2011 | 8 Comments »
First and foremost, Thomas and I travel because we love adventure and discovery. This, after all, is a travel blog. But as many of you know, we also travel for political reasons. Being a binational gay couple has seriously complicated our lives in the sedentary world. Years of bureaucratic and cultural complication left us wanting to leave it all behind.
Our declaration of independence and self determination has captured the attention of many fellow binational couples who see hope in our story. More and more of you are coming to this website and are “liking” us on Facebook. We have also received numerous personal emails recounting stories of hardship, stories which are very familiar to us.
The cruel and unusual flip-flopping that has occurred in the United States Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) during the last week has left thousands of binational couples feeling desperate and confused. The hope that the end of this battle was within sight was quickly crushed. We have experienced this type of disappointment a hundred times over. It can be devastating, especially for young couples who are just learning the level of discrimination they face in order to stay together. For this reason, we have decided to post the Youtube version of Excluded: Nowhere to Go, the documentary detailing our struggle as a binational couple, here on our site. The documentary was made by Dr. Lisa Nunn, a professor of sociology at the University of San Diego, who will be presenting the film at the Fallbrook Film Festival on Saturday April 9, 2011.
The video is in four segments. When the first segment finishes, click the video to continue on to the next segment. Just in case there are difficulties linking between segments, we have posted the other three segments here:
Topics: Media Coverage | 8 Comments »
April 4th, 2011 at 11:47 am
Hi,
My story it’s very simple, I am an civil engineer, 38, I am from Colombia and I am working in a construction company in Fort Lauderdale,Florida. After few months of starting my new life here in Florida , I met a beautiful english accent South Africa man, and I felt in love like never before in my life, he is an American citizen, and he loves me too, but in the beginning of our relationship I had to decide whether to continue with this wonderful relationship or go back to Colombia, due to my visa requirements. I didn’t want to lost him, so I decided to stay in USA and try to organize my status in order to stay with him, after six years of struggling , legal fees, fears of deportation, no driver license and small lower wage jobs, I am still thinking that I took the right decision, no matter what I have to do, i don’t want to give up to the love of my life!!!!, now I still have my beautiful “Gato” , Spanish word for “Cat”, the love of my life with me, who’s been so supporting and encouraging person, he CAN’T sponsor me for immigration purposes, as straight couples easily do, because of DOMA .Although I could have fixed my status long time ago, just getting marriage with a woman, like many straight people shamelessly do, I would prefer to wait to see if DOMA can be reject some day, I have heard with sadness that many people get divorce from their husbands and wives and get marriage with Americans in order to get immigration status, but I can’t do that, i have principles and overall I love my Gato, I can’t sell my soul getting marriage with a woman for just 30 gold coins, we even have thought about going to live in Australia, in where we can live with out immigration discrimination. It’s so sad to see, like I saw in las Vegas, straight people getting marriage like asking for an hamburger in a drive-thru fast marriage churches, it was so obvious that those people had been met short time ago,I was so sad ,and I thought, what about me and my six years of a happy, monogamous and lovely relationship ,I’m still believing in our love and with faith in fairness , maybe I am wrong.:(, my beautiful partner said :” don’t worry my “Lindo” , we will get it someday”………:(
Gio.
April 4th, 2011 at 1:02 pm
Thanks for posting this, Tony and Thomas.
It is a crucial moment for solidarity, sympathy, and encouragement for same-sex bi-national couples and their allies.
Progress is hanging in the air.
Hopefully that means we’ll feel some progress in people’s actual lives soon too.
Love you both,
Lisa
April 4th, 2011 at 5:35 pm
Your blog is very touching and very interesting, with amaizing photos, you guys are the most courageous couple I ever known, celebrating your love no matter what,no matter where. I am sharing your stories to everyone I know, most of them don’t have a clue that this is happening to many Americans , but you guys are not alone, we are thousands of couples like you, and I will continue sharing this wonderful blog to everybody , until we have fairness and beyond.
Lots of love Gio.
April 5th, 2011 at 1:14 am
This note is to Giovanny and so many other other couples that are in the same or similar situation.
Yes, there are at least 40,000 binational same sex couples in the states that are pleading for their equal rights.
The best thing we can all do is stay very vocal to those who oppose equal rights for same sex couples throughout the world.
Encourage those you know to support you in meeting and writing to their local politicians and courts.
Be persistent, be firm, be proud when presenting your situation and most importantly be prepared to be rejected over and over again for the right to stay here with your partner. And when you hear the words over and over again that, all are too busy with more important issues at this time, remind those individuals that when binational gay couples are forced to leave America, that you eventually lose all rights.
My name is Freda Leang and I am the Proud Mother of Tony and the Proud Mother in Law of Thomas.
I miss them deeply and Admire their inner strength to make a life for themselves.
When Tony and Thomas first considered leaving the United States, Tony ask me, “Mom since you married to a man from another country, if you had not had the legal right to stay in this country as a couple, would you leave the states.” and I said, If I had to choose between the states and my husband, I would leave the states in a (New York) minute to be with my husband.
When two people are so fortunate to find one another and know they are they are right for each other then they are very lucky.
Many people go through life never having that opportunity.
So push hard for your rights over and over again until you receive them, but in the meantime keep a very fine balance in your life between politics and your relationship with your partner,(husband).
My love and concern goes out to each and everyone of you in this situation.
Freda
April 5th, 2011 at 7:55 am
Hey Giovanny,
Thanks for sharing your story on the blog. It is incredibly important to speak out like you did. So many binational couples are afraid to share their stories in public. It is one of the reasons why so few Americans understand how unfair and unjust US immigration policies are.
Even many gay and lesbian Americans have little understanding of how differently they are treated under U.S. immigration law.
Stay strong and don’t give up. Things WILL change because we are going to change them
April 5th, 2011 at 8:05 am
We just found your site and watched the video. You two are real survivors. We havve been together for seven years and we have moved several time because of the visa limit too. Sometimes it feels like it never will end. Just hearing other couples talk about this is such a relief.
April 5th, 2011 at 1:29 pm
Thank you Lisa for your beautiful and touching film and thank you TnT for posting the links.
I wish both of you that you’ll eventually find a way to live wherever you want and the way you want to.
For all binational couples I hope that your struggles will end soon and that there will be equality, not just in immigration and also not just in the US.
April 6th, 2011 at 12:40 am
Thank you everyone for your comments. Each one of you either lives in a binational relationship (gay and straight) or is a family member or friend of a binational couple.
It’s so important to realize that it’s not just same-sex binational couples who are affected but everyone in their social circle. With about 40,000 binational couples in the U.S., as Freda suggested, the actual number of people suffering from this injustice lies in the millions.
This should be enough to effect change or, at least, to change an election outcome.